Furry Fury! Furries Disappearing Across America!

Furry Fury

A California man who chose to disclose himself only as “Spot” claims that a flurry of furry disappearances has been sweeping China towns across the country. “They are taking us!” spokeswoman Pretty Kitty told Anthropic Press. “They are taking us and cooking us into whatever it is they eat! How do Asian restaurants keep prices so low? How?!?” Driven by fears that the influx of illegal immigrants has allowed greater numbers of Asians into the country, Furry president Bow Wow is urging all Furries to support republican presidential candidate Donald Trump. “These unamerican scum will stop at nothing!” Bow Wow told an exuberant crowd, “not even our little Fuzzies will be safe!” crowds roared as he held aloft an infant dressed in Seal like garb. “We must support Trump! He will ship em’ all off!”
The recent fears, dubbed “Furry Fury” developed when Antonio Vixen, an LA Furry, went missing sometime last month. The FBI is investigating the disappearance. “Absolutely NO connection currently exists between anyone in the Asian community and this disappearance” a spokesperson said. Still, Furry leaders are not satisfied. “Take precautions!” Pretty Kitty urged followers, “mark your territory! Just like the survival manual tells us! Its our life line! The combined urination of all Furries everywhere will drive these hungry devils off! Cristen your communities!”
Pretty Kitty further emphasized that Americans should not discriminate against public urination, “Its our only defense in times like this. Trust me: it pisses us off too…”


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