Man Opens Exorcism Gym

Ted McDanes, 45 year resident of Metro Detroit and founder of Exorcise Your Fears, opened what he calls the “one stop shop for paranormal fitness”. Consisting mainly of liquidated workout equipment, the new facility puts a “spin” on traditional fitness regimes. “I have added equipment for ghosts and other paranormal beings” McDanes told AnthropicPress during a private tour. “Look here!” Pointing to what appeared to be a rodent exsersize wheel, large enough for a 4th grader, McDanes quickly flipped a switch. “See” he said, jogging on a nearby treadmill, “it spins as you run! Ghosts love it!

The gym is intended as a crossroads for the living and the dead. “I’m not really geared for cosmic beings yet, you know, the powers of myth and legend. But I want to expand toward that. Really, this place is a crossroads. Once the ghost goes into the wheel, its host can just leave discreetly. The spirits usually just keep running until they fade into the “ectoverse”. Everyone wins” he said.

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